We had an awful argument this morning. He didn't speak to me afterwards. He left for work without saying goodbye. I just needed to get something from the bedroom. Passing by the restroom, I glanced over into it and saw his wedding ring on the counter. I wanted to get sick when I saw it there. It doesn't belong there.
I miss him so much. He's in that summer work mode/schedule. Sometimes I have to fight to get him to notice me now. I hate that. I miss him so much, time spent alone with him. I want to just lay in bed with him and be held close.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
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6 comments:
you have to understand him as well, girl.
you fought with him. How did this make him feel? Did it make him feel less Masterly? Did it make him feel less Manly?
The summer work/schedule that you so easily dismissed as his way of ignoring you, isn't. It's his way of being more Man In Charge.
All his life he has been taught that a real man works and suffers so that his family may have better than he does. I know this because every man is taught this as they grow up.
Leaving the ring on the counter was not his way of making you feel bad. It was his way of telling you that he's doing the best he can, under the circumstances (bad economy, etc.) and that if you think you are in control, if you are under the delusion that you deserve better than him, then you should do something about it.
It could also be his way of saying, he believes you deserve better. A bit of a bassackwards complement to you, that he feels you are better.
About the arguing, just stop. Let him be Master. Support His decisions. provide him with pertinent information but accept his decision on issues involving you both.
It is not a slave's place to argue, it is a slaves place to be pleasing, always.
hi! tried to email you... but gmail decided my email body wasn't worth including in the package :(
I was reading your very first posts and you were so focused on his needs. Now you are depressed and internalizing instead of being that happy bubbly, sexy slut. It's a stage I've gone through. You have to remember that when you are bursting with need to cum, every look you give him, every time you touch him, every thing you say to him is an initiation of sex.
I have some observations from an ongoing and long M/s relationship about some of the issues you are facing.
1) initiating sex - make sure he gets what he needs!
I found that Master feels more dominant and confident if he cums a certain number of times a day. I tried to make sure I presented myself in a flirtatious way for at least that many. As we do this continually, he feels more dominant and I don't have to climb-on-and-stick-it-in-myself initiate anymore (unless I'm stark naked, dripping horny of course) Also, it conditions me to not be "too tired" or any of those other lamo female excuses that come with a stale pussy.
2) house cleaning taking time away from Master?
There are a couple ways to handle this. Ask what he wants you to clean. Ask him right then and there, on that day, while he's away, he wants cleaned. Don't ask him to make a week long schedule of what you should do, just live in the moment. Don't worry about what else you think needs to be done. Let him decide what is important. It sounds like you have a lot of time alone while he is at work, so this should free up all his home time for making sure he gets serviced.
Lastly, do what he likes to do! Watch what he wants to watch on tv! Re read your first posts. He already trained you, you just need to learn from your training.
Jarl,
I'm quite confident that when we get into an argument or if I strongly disagree with Him, He does not feel less of a Master or a Man. He's quite secure in that. I will concede that I could do better in understanding. Obviously, you don't know the details surrounding the issue. Master will easily agree that He has a problem when it comes to balancing work and personal life. He is used to not having much of a life at all, and when work gets full like this, He will cut out his home life just as he did in his single days.
I may be a slave but that is an issue for me, and it is important that I express that with him.
He left the ring on the bathroom counter because He forgot to put it back on after His shower. Even I, in my upset state this morning, knew that much. He would never manipulate my feelings in order to make a point or get back at me.
I was upset about the fight, saw the ring and it was topping on my raw emotions.
Appreciate your comments and insights. Don't appreciate you making assumptions about people's emotional standpoint or motivations. You know?
As a slave, I have several 'places'. Aside from pleasing, one of my responsibilities is to communicate to him when something isn't right so that He can make proper corrections if He sees fit.
Life is not perfect and sometimes- even with D/s related relationships- sensitive topics can degrade into arguments. We're human.
Eve,
Thanks for taking the time to comment. You're correct in that I have to be creative. Rethink things. Life has changed dramatically since my first posts that you pointed to. I am no longer a long distance slave. Things have to change and they will. Things will never be as easy at they once were- when rare weekends together were for sex and hanging out together. The stuff worth it- the good stuff- is never easy to get to.
g
Thank you for the reply...
and no, I do not know the whole story... Presumptions of emotion truly was something I should not have typed here.
In my mind I was offering alternatives to what you were feeling, but in re-reading, what was spelled out clearly was presumptuous (<- spellcheck OK'd that word??)
Jarl, thanks for your reply. It's truly refreshing and welcome when folks can talk to each other like grown-ups on the interwebs :)
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