The other day, Master and i had a talk. Kink has been around yet it has been at a minimal. i know that part of it has to do with our acclamation together as well as mine to the area. However, i also know that i am not trying as hard to serve in manners aside from domestic: i'm hiding from it.

We talked about this lack of connection on the kink side. i told Him that i think part of it has to do with the fact that deep down i may be angry with Him. Angry because i have been the one who has been going through the most amount of change. That would be fine normally but i sense that in a lot of cases, He would rather continue in His own normal pattern/schedule instead of assist me in adjusting in any way.

Mind you, He is getting better. However, i have experienced new feelings since all this has unfolded. If He isn't on His toes with all this, how can i fully let go again and submit like we both need me to? i can't feel safe if i don't feel like He sees everything fairly.

Master understood this. He admitted, also, to not really being on top of things like He usually is. i am not angry at Him for this, though. We're going through a big adjustment right now. Things are fine however, it's still a big adjustment. Just for us as a couple, minus the D/s. Anyway, Master praised me for being self aware and looking deeper into myself to see what was standing in the way of my progress. It felt really good to be able to communicate with Him so openly. i am such a lucky girl.

i know that it's just as much my responsibility as it is His. i need to put more into this, i need to focus more on the reward of pleasing Him through service.

Ever since that talk, we have both taken steps forward. i have reached out to Him in that way and He has done the same.

Wow. We had some amazing sex last night, by the way. Amazing sex.

Labels: a slave's selflessness, adjusting to living with Master, house cunt